We’ve all heard people say they’d “die for their art” or “for fashion”, but few have managed to die for their facial hair.
Meet Hans Steininger, the sixteenth century mayor of Braunau am Inn in what is now Austria. By all accounts he was respected, prosperous and well liked. He was also famous for something else.
His moustache.
Not just a respectable Victorian affair or a neatly waxed handlebar. Not even a neat, black postage stamp like the other infamous Austrian bloke. No, Hans possessed what is widely regarded as ‘The longest moustache ever reliably recorded’ before the modern era, measuring around 1.4 metres (about 4’6).
Most of the time, Hans’s facial fuzz didn’t pose a problem. He carefully folded the whiskers and tucked them into a leather pouch when carrying out official duties – sensible enough. Until one day in 1567, disaster struck.
A fire broke out in the town, and like any sensible mayor, Hans rushed to help organise the response only this time, in the panic, he apparently neglected to secure his famous moustache. As he hurried through the streets, the enormous whiskers became tangled around his feet and he stumbled and fell. Contemporary accounts state that the fall broke his neck.
And that, dear reader, was that. History’s most famous moustache had claimed it’s owner.
I don’t know if every tiny detail of this tale has survived the centuries intact. Facts like these are difficult to prove or disprove, but Hans Steininger’s enormous ‘stache did exist. In fact, Braunau still celebrates it’s famous mayor and his preserved moustache can (reportedly) be seen at the Bezirksmuseum Herzogsburg in Braunau as part of the historical collection.
I think there is something wonderfully human about the whole affair – the very thing that made Hans famous, the thing that ensured he’d be remembered for centuries, also became the instrument of his downfall.
Most of us worry about tripping over shoelaces.
Poor old Hans had… Bigger problems…
